ReAL TaLk

Men should be allowed to feel pain and to cry, just as women should not be vilified for feeling or showing rage and anger…

Women are constantly told that they are:

Too intense –it is ok to feel intensely. We are not porcelain dolls.

Too emotional –it is ok to be emotional. Yet, we need to make sure that we learn how to not let our emotions overcome us all the time.

Too sensitive–it is ok to be sensitive.

Too serious–it is ok to be serious, but it’s equally healthy to show some levity. I think women secretly yearn for more levity in their lives.

Too proper–It’s ok to have standards, but it’s ok to let loose, too!

Too time sensitive–someone has to be! Yet, perhaps we can learn to be a little more flexible at times. There are some women who are as chronically late as men, though.

Too aware–we have to be. There are predators lurking everywhere. Plus, most women have been taught to be accommodating to all, which can be harmful.

Too judgmental–again, it’s good to have discretion, and we have excellent instincts. However, it would behoove us to be more open minded at times.

Too business like–what’s wrong with this? There are times that we are in a business situation. Do men get criticized for this?

Too straightforward–I prefer directness. Yet, I feel that society prefers and expects women to present every compliment, need, wish, want, or complaint on soft pillows covered in flowers and hearts. Get real! We can be sensitive and soft, but it’s ok to say what you want and need in a direct way.

Too direct–see above

Too driven—what’s wrong with this? Is this threatening? One should be proud, as long as being driven doesn’t abandon moral or ethical character or boundaries, I think taking initiative and having tenacity are good qualities.

Men are constantly told that they are:

Too easily distracted–Many are. I think they could learn a lot by being more focused–especially when a female walks by. Men–you’re not going to shrivel up and die if you don’t stare at every woman who crosses your path. In fact, by NOT staring, you’ll make her world feel way more comfortable.

Too time insensitive–some men are incredibly punctual, even more so than some women! Not all, but some.

Too Pervy–agreed that most are too pervy. There’s more to life than sex. Again, this can be said for some women, too.

Too lacking initiative–again–depends on the person. Many men get up and help w/o prodding.

Too indecisive–some are, some aren’t.

Too focused on physical appearances–I agree with this mostly. Many don’t look past the physical appearance.

Too inappropriate–too true in many cases. There are some men who have incredible boundaries and take the responsibility of being a responsible and appropriate man very seriously. But—many don’t.

Too lacking initiative–depends on the man.

Too easily swayed–if it has to do with lust–I agree. If it has to do with other things, I think this is not necessarily true.

Too babied–many men are too babied. Mothers do their sons no favors by enabling them. One can nurture and teach responsibility and autonomy simultaneously.

Too unaware–Again, some are very aware. My brother is one of the most observant and aware men I have ever met.

Too clueless–Some are, some aren’t. Boys need to be spoken to and to be educated on so many issues, ranging from respect to appropriate behavior. If more boys were taught to be aware and appropriate, I think this would help them as they grow into men.

Too selfish–depends on the man.

Too stoic –some are, some aren’t. Men should be allowed, just like women, to freely express any emotion that they feel. The fact that society teaches men to suppress, ignore, and to repel certain emotions is a disservice to men. It’s not fair and it’s incredibly damaging.

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