My Dad and I have had a rocky relationship, to say the least. He and my Mother had a rocky relationship, too. They were young and didn’t know themselves fully when they married. I know he’s not a perfect man. I am not perfect, either. We don’t agree on much, and we don’t communicate in the same way. But, I love my Dad dearly, and he has taught me a lot, and given me something that no other man could and has.
My dad has never made me feel uncomfortable as a woman. My father is also one of the few, if any men, from whom I have never felt any creepiness. He never leered at me, he never leered at my friends, he never made lewd comments about other women in front of me, he never looked other women up and down around me. In fact, he talked about how men focus too much on physicality and how beauty is overrated and that men who value “beauty” too much aren’t the ones with whom you want to spend your time. He values strong women, women who are independent, women who are educated, and women who have a voice. He always stressed how important it was to choose to be with men who truly appreciated and valued a woman’s character and who she was.
I thank my Dad for that. I appreciate the fact that I always felt safe with him, that he wasn’t going to molest me, or put me in an awkward situation. He never spoke of my friends inappropriately, either. I am saddened by so many women who have fathers who leered at their friends and made inappropriate comments to their own daughters.
After I was raped, my Dad helped me a lot. He took care of me, he made sure I ate, he helped me find the angel dog that I have now, he gave me space, he nurtured me. I am thankful for this. I am thankful and grateful to him for this.