Men need to be educated about how to manage their libido, how to behave appropriately with their impulses, and how to treat others with respect, especially when feeling sexual towards them. Women have to live defensively, unfortunately for most of our lives. As a result, we need to make sure we make good decisions and choices. I wish we lived in a world where women could get wasted, could pass out, and not get taken advantage of. WE don’t, though. Knowing this, we should always try to assess our surroundings and make sure we make good behavioral choices. I am in no ways excusing anyone taking advantage of another person. NO way. However, there are certain scenarios where we shouldn’t allow ourselves to be completely vulnerable.
I have read both The Male Brain and The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine. I think all people should read both books. Based on her findings that mens’ brains are basically flooded with testosterone, I think we need educational centers, resources, classes, etc., to help men cope with these hormonal saturations, how to manage them in a healthy way, and how to set respectful boundaries with themselves and others, no matter their biological urges. The world is rampant with men who don’t know how to healthily deal with and overcome their impulses, compulsions, and inappropriate behavior. We need to raise and educate men to be civil, respectful, emotionally and sexually healthy beings.
Girls and women are already taught to be defensive, for the most part. I think we need to teach girls to say no, to realize even if people try to silence us and ruin our lives, that we won’t back down. It’s easier said than done–I know firsthand. But we must band together, share our experiences, shout them out loud and try to get help holding those who behave inappropriately accountable. We must help each other. Yes, help. Uplift. Spend time, listen, reach out, commune, educate, etc. It’s depressing to me that women have to fight to be heard, especially when they have been violated. I hope silencing women will lessen as time proceeds. Women are not less than, girls are not less than. They need to stop being treated as such. Even when coaches tell boys, “don’t run like a girl”–this rhetoric is detrimental and diminishing, as if girl runners aren’t valuable or as important. It needs to stop. The inner and outer dialogue and manner in which we speak to and about women needs to improve. We are not objects. We should not be ogle fodder, We shouldn’t be made to feel that our opinions and actions aren’t as important as a mans.
Education about real life issues, struggles, successes, failures, is just as important, if not more so, than Math class. Real life. Real issues. Stop sweeping trash under the rug! Stop pretending men don’t struggle with choosing appropriate behavior. START educating… Stop silencing men and women who have been victimized.