ReAL TaLk

The Truth About Mr S.

The Truth About Mr. S……………………………

October 17, 2017 Recently numerous women have spoken up about having been assaulted by Harvey Weinstein. As more and more women come forward, I feel great sadness, anger, isolation, and fear. I was sexually harassed and assaulted numerous times by a “valued” Denton community member. Mr. S was my band director my junior and senior years of high school. His behavior with me during my years as a student was completely inappropriate. He should be in jail. Yes, jail. I know I am not the only female who experienced his harassments, too. Mr. S, as the students called him, prayed on the fact that I was very naïve, came from a single parent household, didn’t have much of a relationship with my father, and the fact that I wanted to be a professional musician. My senior year of high school, I had early release. My Mom worked, and so I often had to stay very late after school to be picked up. I didn’t have a car. I would come to the band hall to practice during my free period. Every single day, Mr. S would hide my clarinet somewhere so I’d have to come and ask him where it was. It was his way of making sure he got to see me and harass me. He would leave lengthy typed “love” letters and lifesavers in my case every day. I was appalled. I told him to please stop. I never reciprocated, did not want this kind of attention, and did not perpetuate it. I feel I must state this, because I know people will ask. I just wanted to practice my clarinet, and he knew this. I wanted to go in a practice room and practice so that I could help my Mom with dinner when I got home and do my homework. He would make me sit with him in his office. He would pull his chair up to me and sniff my hair, telling me to never to change my use of Finesse shampoo, as he associated me with that “lovely” smell. He would ask me if I read his love letters, and then pester me as to why I never replied or reciprocated. I was very shy then, and didn’t say anything. I was scared. I felt ashamed, though I didn’t do anything. I was embarrassed and knew many kids noticed that he gave me “special” attention, and I hated it. He controlled when I could leave his office. He knew I had no transportation of my own, so if I tried to leave to go to a practice room or to the library, he would tell me that I couldn’t because I still had lots of time to be with him. He would sometimes help me with my music, as it appeared that I was just in his office for that purpose. It wasn’t. He was obsessed with me. I am now closing in on middle age, and until last night, I had never told anyone that he used to come to my Spanish class, and pull me out of my class to take me places. How this was allowed, I will never know. My Spanish teacher just said, ok. Mr. S would tell her I had Drum Major duties, and that it was urgent, and she would allow him to whisk me away………I hated it. He would often take me to Lake L. He and his wife owned a sailboat, and he would take me to the boat. We would both get in the boat, and he would tell me how he wanted to sail the world with me. Again, I was silent. I was afraid. He would force me to sit leg to leg with him and he would kiss my cheek, putting his arm around me. I would sit there like a statue, then I would try to pull away, but he would forcefully pull me back and would tell me that I was mean to deny his advances and affection. Typing this now makes me want to vomit. It’s repugnant. The woman I have grown to be would never allow this behavior around her. However, I was 16, and not very confident. I could never understand how a man who had a wife and three daughters could be so disgusting, cross so many boundaries, and could be so creepy. The time he crossed the line in the most extreme way was when he pulled me to him and held me next to his body and forced a mouth to mouth kiss on me in SA at All State. I was disgusted, pulled myself away from him, and cried the entire night. I wanted someone to rescue me from his nastiness. “Couldn’t everyone tell he was a creep and that I was miserable?”, I would think to myself. You are probably thinking, “why didn’t you tell someone?” I was afraid. He brainwashed me into thinking that if I told that he wouldn’t write any recommendation letters for me, that no one would believe me (I know this is not true now), and would remind me that I didn’t want to stress out my Mom, who already worked a lot. He guilt tripped me and shamed me.  Did anyone know, you ask? Mom had an inkling that he was too attentive to me, but I never vilified him to her, so she didn’t worry. Maybe some friends knew that I was his “favorite”, but they had no idea as to the extent that his favoritism fell. My only friend who eventually found out was a friend who also went to college with me. I showed him the letters and told him about it. He was livid and then I threw all the letters away (I now wish I had kept the disgusting papers so that I could have them published). Mr. S would call me at college and tell me he missed me. I told him to never call me again, and he continued until I stopped picking up the phone. Mr. S was a child predator who never should have never taught children. He tried to Facebook friend me several years ago, too. I immediately shut that down. The gall, the nerve. No shame, no conscience. I am tired of being silent. I will not spare his peace to keep this quiet any longer. I can only imagine how many other teenagers and young girls were forced to be at the mercy of his sickness. I will be silent no more. #silentnomore #metoo

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